Poem172 Wish

I woke this morning to see
a sunrise
and your smile

Things just aren't the same
since you came in

I've learned to walk the roads,
I've never seen,
because you saw

I've seen the things
I'd never thought I'd see

I've learned to show the world
that I see
cause you're there

You've seen the things
I thought no one could see

I can see the world
through your eyes
and you see my world
through me

You're the second part
that other half of me.

Poem152 Untitled

I hurt so many just by being
who I am, just by saying
what I say.
I use the ones who call me friend
in ways they just can't see
and worst to me
is that I do it
Indifferently.
I care,
but I don't care
I want to care,
but I don't care
I try to care,
but I don't care
I'm such an ass,
How can someone be
so self-centered?
I hate the way I treat people
Separate, separate
always separate
always separate from me.
No attachments
Nothing strong
Nothing that will last,
not a human care

And I wonder why I'm so alone.

Poem163 Untitled

So many fakes
with words that mean
nothing
it's all so hollow. . .
I ask for truth and all I get
is sugar

Sweet, Sweet
but meaningless
empty words
No substance!
No meaning!
No Worth!

Am I the only one who sees?

Poem161 Untitled

I'm sometimes scared
I'll never find someone
who fits. . .
I'm unhappy with most people
and it seems so slim I'll find
someone who can make me feel. . .
what I wish I could

Poem157 Liar

The best liars, tell the truth all the time
To better disguise, thier lies
And I am the best of liars
For I, never lie
At least, my sweet, not to you. . .
Never to you. . .
Trust me (smile)

As I am the best of liars
I'd never lie, to you.

Poem171 Untitled

I wrote this on 1/2/05 on the back of a bank receipt. It doesn't seem that good to me, but writing it made me feel a whole lot better.

The colors swirl
and I swirl with them
Floating through my mass delusion
My chest feels empty
I'm just a shell
a candy-coating over nothing
A chameleon blending in
with everything because
he isn't real.

Poem153: Untitled

Do you know flowers unfold
when you walk by?
Sweet as a kiss from tulips
and twice as shy.

Did you know the flower hide
as I pass by?
As if you were the sun and I a shadow
blocking the sky.

There he is
a shadow stealing such sweet kisses
from the tulips of the sun.

Poem51: Starlight Dreams

I had a dreaming
we were one
And now I wish to see

If through prayer
or fervent hope
A dream can cause to be.

Starbright starlight
in your hair
And stardust in your eyes.

I want to see
under the skin
Beneath the star's disguise.

Does bueaty echo
deep within
As it does without.

Or is my dream
a truer thing
And bueaty merely doubt.

Poem64: Only You

to be lost, in your heart
to be found, in your mind
to know all you want
to deliver all you desire
this is what I want
to be yours
for you to be mine
to be joined, in forever
to be one, in a moment
to hold your heart in my hands
and to hand you mine
to knoe your love
to show you mine
to drip upon you
my blood in your heart
beating as one
one heart
one life
one love
only you

Poem67: Recipe For Rice

soak grated garlic in lemon juice
with a pinch of salt
then rub it in my open wounds
and add a pinch more salt

You know what you've got?
A recipe for rice
That's Nice!
A recipe for rice

and what to use if salt is low
why vinegar will do
then add a dash of broken glass
(the glass is fun to chew)

A recipe for rice
That's Nice!
A recipe for rice

last thing to finish my dish
you need a box of rot
just dive in and eat it raw
you're closer there than not

It's a recipe for rice
That's Nice!
A recipe for rice

Poem71: Render

See my blood in your hands
and my death in your eyes
you hold my heart and crush it
Take a big bite
all the while smils your sexy smile
as a river of red dribbles down your chin
You look good in my blood
And as you kill my soul
I look on you with adoring eyes

Poem72: My Shoulder Says I Love You

Hold you as I kiss away the pain
you cry on my shoulder
I love the way your face fits there
I hate to see you in such pain
but I wish we were always this close
We're closest when you need me most
closest when you cry
cry on my shoulder
My shoulder says I love you

Poem76: Hush Now

"Hush now"
the angel whispers
a calmness spreads
and all is serene

The valley is green
and I can hear water,
a stream,
in the distance.
Butterflies,
pink and yellow,
swirl about my head
and the angel extends his hand.
I reach out to take it. . .

And wake,
in a cold, cold room
an my stone bed,

and i cry.

Poem78: You Give In

Dancing,
like a puppet in the wind
dancing to his tune
you let him pull the strings
He leads your life
not you
your nothing
because you allowed yourself to be
to become
useless
his puppet
his toy.

Poem88: Death Flies

Death flies on wings of black
stalking me, seeking me out
Death never sleeps
I see her, on her spidery thin legs
her robe, tattered remnants
her sickle held high
ready for harvest.
She follows wherever I go
no matter how fast I run
and each year she gets closer.
One day she's going to catch me.
She has all the time in the world.

Poem92: Future

There was a man
who saw the future
in his dreams.

It was a curse.

He saw the deaths
of his friends,
even as he first met them.
He saw the suicide of his father
the rape of his sister
the beating of his mom.
and finally
he saw his own death
by his own hand. . .

There was a boy
who wished he could see
the future. . .

Poem96: Halloween

I've heard
"Monster Mash"
three times today.
People walk in masks.
I like to scare the kids
that come to my door.
I answer it with
a bloody machete and
a rubber severed head.
I throw open the door
howling like a maniac.
They shriek
part genuine fear
part excitement.

Then I give them candy.

Poem107: Adamant/Unyield

STONE
immovable I am
I stand alone
rooted in the earth
through generations
of pain
struggle
turmoil

I will NOT be moved!
Though waves crash
and wind blow
I will remain
whole
eternal
I will NOT be moved!

Poem111: Morning

Sun rises
sleepy eyes open
slighty
to a shaft of light
quickly shut again

With a groan
and a stretch
A new day arrives
with it's new
choices

I wake only
to find
just what the day
will bring.

Poem134: Untitled

Sleeping, one day, dreaming
I found I was thewind
floating, free fall, fickle
through your gardens grass

One day, waking, sleepy
thoughts of you remain
want you, need you, had you
thoughts of you remain

Resting, one day, restless
I know your not there
had you, lost you, sorrow
you're not coming back

One day, sleepy, dying
heart lost, soul burnt free
these things gone with you
little left of me.

Poem46: Atherlion

How often see the kalebs flutter
in a flattering wind.
To see the burgles on the corner
of enmac and ensin.
Where the cackles spin and turn
amongst the breckenway.
To watch the elf-maids loe
(and sometimes even lay).

How swirlish is the ronny breeze
How purple is the sun
That shines upon the drackish land
of fair Atherlion.

In Quillib did my sister ride
upon the steed moonray.
While I with Mackren cards
did games of magic play.
The elf-Maids surely I did see
(and sometimes even lay).
While cackles spun in jealousy
as did the breckenway.

How swirlish is the ronny breeze
How purple is the sun
That shines upon the drackish land
of fair Atherlion.

Poem170: Untitled

I've a misery inside
but I can't speak it
and show you my weakness

Weeping is weakness
but I'm sour inside
my pain grows stale
without air

I can't show my weakness
I just can't.

Poem47: In Darkness

In darkness is the poet's heart
all the greater seen.
To be a poet is to be
exposed to the unclean.
In despair and turmoil
are deep secrets revealed.
In the writer's reaching out
the poet's fate is sealed.
In our poems, in our words
our demons are exposed.
In filling up the blankest page
do we forget our woes.
Perhaps with written exposure
our lives we hope to find.
I only know I'm happiest when
I can express my mind.

Poem122: Tastes Like Me

I try to write with another flavor
but every poem bears my flavor.
Every poem tastes like me
my imprint in it never waverr.
I try to evolve, grow, speak
in a new way say my piec.
but each poem is distintcly me
a mirror only reflects what it sees.
I've said so much and I feel now
I've little left to say.
All my poems seem to be
the same thing said a different way.
Can it be that I'm so shallow
already I've plunged my depths dry?
Will I find a new taste deeper
or only lose my mind to try?
With every poem I felt I grew
yet now it seems I may have shrunk.
Will I find my something new
or of my mind just tear a chunk?

Poem66: Half a Heart

This is the end and I am it
there is nothing left
this is the trend no help for it
indignity and theft

half a poem half a heart
only half a mind
have my poem have my heart
please just have a mind

all alone you're in my place
no wonder you feel lost
without bone you're in disgrace
to be one of the bossed

half my heart is in this place
my other half is lost
just a piece upon my face
my soul lies in the frost

Poem116: Tastes Like Scarlett

Dead
I watch the flowers
pushing out their roots
searching through the soil
stretching. . . Ahhhh!
relax

Dead
the flowers growing
outside, in my mind
time to till the soil
dig deeper in my skull.

Alive
you pick a flower
Sniff. . . my mind you smell
now you know the flower
and my thoughts as well.

Poem130: Wild Bill

Cody came to town
dragging a self-fashioned hearse
made from the planks
of grave-marking crosses.

He challenged each gunslinger in town
cursing and damning each one
for losing
and forcing him to travel
to yet another town.

Poem129: untitled

written on 4/4/03

War?
What war?
It's not war, it's slaughter
Shoot the hostage to kill a madman
for the benefit ... of ... of ...
mankind?
For PRIDE
Vengence
and a can of gas.
TELL ME
to support the theif in office?
Support a president we did NOT elect?
Makes as much sense as
putting a bullet through the head of a five-year-old girl
to show the world how tough you are.

Support the Burning Bush!
May he lead us into HELL!

Poem126: The Night Tracy Died

In the car
filled with girl
everyone's crying...
but me.

Eight years old
I look,
forlornly
out the window to my left
into a star-eyed sky
wondering why I cannot cry.

Pretty Maggie on my right
cries sweetly
her tears seem exotic to me
and I watch her face
wishing I could feel
as she feels

Why don't I feel. . . anything?
What's wrong with me?
Someone's dead
shouldn't I cry?
But what's death to an eight year old?
What does it mean?

I want to see the body
I want to see 'dead'
so it can be real to me
then, maybe I could cry
Then maybe I'd feel
wtih Maggie
who weeps
prettily into her hands.

Will they think something's wrong with me?
Everyone else is crying
even Mom
while she drives.
Is something wrong with me?

so I pretend to cry
taking cues from Maggie
imitating her sobs
crying with her
and for a moment,
my tears are real
not for the dead
but for myself
that I must Pretend
(What's Wrong With ME?!)

So I stop.
I'm not like Maggie
I cannot cry

I look
into a star-eyed sky.

Poem73: Know Thyself

Look within the heart
to see what lies inside
A thousand shining suns
Is that what makes your soul so bright?

Look within the mind
your third eye waking still
you see a book of sorrows
Yet ask me why the world is ill.

Look within the soul
to see the thing entire
and watch the smiling infants
Are burning with you in the fire.

Look within yourself
a vision now of hell
and see the pain it is
To truly know yourself that well.

Poem87: To Write a Poem

To write a poem
is to put into words
the inner workings of your soul
to bare all to all;
emotions become things exposed
and as such they are purified.

Writing poetry is a selfish act
for it is done,
not to give another solace or pleasure,
but so the poet might exorcise
his own demons
by exposing them to the light.

Poem90: Callused

Thank you
for the calluses
you helped put on my heart,
because of you
I'll never hurt again.
I'll never know the pain of love again.

ICE,
You've filled my chest with ice.
Once filled with fire,
but even the hottest fire
can be extinguished.

Thank you,
I'll never love again.
I'll never feel the pain of love again.

Thank you,
for cutting out my heart.
I'll never feel the pain
of loving you again.

Poem91: It Was Me

One day,
the wind stopped for me
and I looked away to see
an image staring back at me...

It was me

That day,
the sun froze for me
so I could look, so peacefully
into me to see the inner me...

When the waters roared for me
I saw my heart, so fiery
my soul, I caught in reverie
my mind was sleeping peacefully
my emotions had previously
kept themselves hidden from me,
but I caught them handily
and saw them moving Icily...

When the spirits died for me
I saw my spirit so plainly
to me it was an agony
to see myself so truthfully
to see the thing that lay in me
to know it was my enemy...

It was me.

Poem1: Order/Choas

Let me preface this by saying that this was the first poem I ever wrote. I wrote it six or seven years ago.


Was for order that we fought
Not knowing of the pain we wrought
Pain of knowing we were not right
Pain of knowing, too late, not to fight
But fight we must, for honor's sake
Though skin in fear, begins to quake
Thought we divine right would aide our win
But nothing's divine about unknown sin
Off we rode, blood flowed red
Came we back, all dead.